hi!!!!!!

let see...

I didn't update my blog for 3 months dy!!!!

fat mou lo.....

finally....final exam ended...

no need to study until don't have enough sleep...

my form 4 is also going to end...

so sad...no more honeymoon....

study study and study...

but for now,I'm going to have fun first!!!!!

i want to watch all dramas!!!!!

woohoo.....

going to korea next next week....

anticipating it......got the schedule just now....

it will be fun...i guess....

3 months...

I realized that I didn't update my blog for 3 months!!!
omg~~~~this blog is already dead for 3 months...
now it is revived!!!!lol..
actually I tried to write something but my mind just had nothing when I wanted to blog....
in this 3 months....I had done a lot of things...
study....mid-year exam....mid term holiday~~
and I attended 2 camps in 2 weeks!!!
I had a lot of fun in the first camp..which is 學記全國營...
I knew frens from other states.....and become dark...T.T
4 days and 3 night....I experienced a lot of thing that I never done before.....
I don't think I enjoyed myself in the 2nd week camp...
but I was happy because I was with my frens~~
the games were OK....but the food was not really good~~*no offense la..*
that's what I did in the 2 weeks holiday~~
homework still not touched....just sleep after both camps...
damn tired.....and my muscles were all pain and my leg hurt....
so I stay at homw and sleep....sleep...sleep.....
haha....

after holidays....school reopened....
I started to scared for my results....
thank god I didn't fail my 3 science subject....
but bio and che.....both were B4....
phy was better coz I went for tuition...
so..the conclusion is......
I need tuitions for bio and che!!!!!!
got no.5 in class...and no.15 in whole form...
at least I had improved overall.....
Thank God~~~

oh ya~~
I passed my st. john exam!!
yay!!got my uniform just now....
I can't imagine how I look with the uniform~~
lol...
annual inspection this Sunday...
rehersal.....become darker....
EMAS fest the day before.......become darker....
foot drill training.....darker....
PJ this morning....even darker......
annual inspection this Sunday......lagi darker.....
OMG.....I don't want to become dark......
but the weather is too hot.....water evaporate too fast and raining at night....
got thunder somemore.....
haiz....the worst is...I have not enough sleep.....
my panda eye is bigger and bigger.....
I want to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!

transformers is showing in the cinema!!!
I want to watch....I watched the trailer...
quite nice....I guess...
I haven't watch 17 again.....even night at the museum 2 also I haven't watch....
so many movies I want to watch...
but busy with homework...moral folio....and meeting....
I wish my life can slow down.....time can slow down....
everything can just slow down......

tuesday is april test!!!
but i haven't finish studying.....
this is my first exam....
scare cannot do well..
although is just monthly test....not need to take it so serious....
but then I dun like to get low marks...[no one like rite??]
hmm....need to memorize many many things...
sejarah...bc...moral...all this....
I dunno whether I can memorize all or not....
2 more days left!!!

go for meeting this morning....
I thought I already late....
mana tau...just few ppl there....
so we wait....after 10 minutes...
just few more ppl come...
so...we start our meeting....
I'm yawning all the way in the meeting....
not tired...but lecture from gong gong is very long...
canot tahan la....
we discuss many problems that occur during the competition....
mostly is about teachers' problem....
I have nothing to say.....so i just record what they say...
and sit there day-dreaming....
meeting finish around 11.30am...
then we chat while wait for my kakak come fetch me...
suddenly rain outside.....
I already know that my kakak will reach quite late...
so just continue chatting la....
until 12.30.....finally can go home....
haha...
no mood to do anything because of the rain.....
now....the rain stops....
I think I shall do my homework and revision~~~

hope can get good results in this test!!!!

these days...

long time din update this blog....
coz ntg special happens...
so din write anything here...
I attend the lecture for st.john yesterday and today....
damn tired....but I gain a lot of knowledge...
most of them are form 1 students....
just few of us are form 4.......old junior...haha..
I'm lack of sleep this whole week....
everyday sleep very late....then need to go to school on the next day...
always feel sleepy in school......in tuition.....
I must sleep early today...
if not my panda eye sure become more serious.....

exam is around the corner....
haven't study yet.....
april test after a week...
the first exam for me in form4.....in SABS as well....
I dunno wat result i can get...I think it will be harder as I expected....
in this one week time...I must study 10 subjects..
can i make it??can I study them in just 1 week time???
although I'm only form 4....but next year is SPM already!!!!
must prepare from now!!!!I know it's a lil bit too early to say this...
but it's true....all the things learn in this year will come out in SPM....
I have no more extra time if din study from now......

today is practical for st. john....
I can do all properly except CPR...
at the first time...when I blow...then chest din rise...
when I do the second time only successful....
when Dr.Hew come and check....
I fail to blow until the chest rise...
why like that????sometime can sometime cannot....
maybe a lil bit of mistakes.......
I scare if exam time I cannot do it..sure fail lo....
but I will try my best la....
I want to pass the exam!!!
I must pass the exam!!!!
must do well!!!!!!

2moro is a school day......
haven't finish homework.....

whenever I want to write something...
I cannot write it out as what is in my heart..
I dunno why...
there are many things in my heart...
but i dunno how to speak or write it out...
I want to share my feelings...
at the same time...I dun wan ppl to know what I'm thinking...
so conflicting rite??
haiz.....

I said to myself before that I want to finish all my homework in this holiday...
but still.....there are many homework I haven't do...
when I think of homework,I will feel dizzy...
I try to do them...but just a while...
I cannot concentrate on them....
especially chemistry.....the questions make me hate this subject...
but...I must try my best to love it....
if not......my result for chemistry will be the worst among those new subjects....

everyday seems like the same...
wake up....clean up them have breakfast...
study for a while...play computer...
have lunch.....watch tv...take bath..
read books....have dinner...watch tv...then sleep...
nothing different except sometime go out for shopping...
life seems boring...
may be it's because I dunno how to make my life more colorful...

holiday is going to end....
is time to back to school...
must face all the teacher in school...
do homework..
tuition...
exam...

and starting to be busy.....

holiday!!

today is a holiday~~
because of ???dunno la...is about Islam thing I think..
wake up on 8.30am...
tidy up my desk...then do some homework and on my computer...
play games...until 1.00pm...
go to jia wern's house.....to discuss about the debate...
6 of us go to her house...
pai seh a jia wern..
we eat a lot...cookies...candy....maggie!!!!
haha....thx~~~~~
back home at 4.30pm...
very lazy to do homework a......
dunno why...
just no mood to do them...
haiz...........

this thursday...SPM result will be announce...
it 's a school day...
need to interview the students!!!
yer....I'm the only xue ji in school...
too bad...need to interview alone...
so scary...
who want to accompany me???
it's so good if can go other's school....
haiz.......

this Saturday!!!
debate competition!!!!
I'm looking forward to it~~~~
hope the competition will be hold successfully!!!
good luck to all the contestants.....

tomorrow....
school day..........

feeling..

what is my feeling now??
quite hungry...lol
but not sleepy although it's almost 1.30AM..
surfing net while hearing songs....
I just write a short post...

tomorrow is Saturday...
supposed I can sleep until 12.00 pm..
but tomorrow school got gotong-royong perdana!!!!!
and afzan 's sports day...
I want to go to afzan to give support to my friends...
but moral teacher said want to do activity for folio!!!!
very difficult to make decision....
haiz....

need to type letters for debate competition...
tomorrow must finish them...
hope I can finish it in one day...
hope the debate competition will be carry out successfully...
I will be very happy with that.....

hwaiting!!!!!!!!!!!!

my life....

Although it is time to sleep now....I still want to write part of my 15++years life....
originally......I had a happy family...
but now...my family is not intact...
I don't know why....I feel more lonely at home without my mum......
No one can share my happiness and sadness...
but luckily,I have friends who willing to hear me.....
there are many things to settle after leaving of my mum.....
I have to become a "mother" in a family.....
I have to manage this home....
the responsibility of mine is not just to study hard and get good results now...
that are more things I have to do besides my homework...
without mum....I'm having a big trouble....
I cannot manage my time properly...there are something weighing on my mind...
but nobody knows.....and....I duno how to reduce my pressure...
If I'm just a normal student....errr....I din say that I'm abnormal...
If I'm JUST a student.....form 4 is just same as other form....[just a little bit more homework]
I can finish my homework on time...[maybe]
but when I go home everyday...i have a lot of things to think about....is A LOT!!!!
maid problem....two maids cannot communicate properly....needs me to settle their problem...
I have to think of how can I settle it without hurting anyone??
bro n sister problem....always fight.....and shout anytime....and disturb me...
xue ji......now is the time busy preparing for the debate competition...
I'm the assistant secretary...my job is to type all the letters....OMG....so many...
but now i try to done it as well as my homework....
hmm......I'm worry about my study.....homework is not done...chemistry haven has a tuition yet...
I dunno whether I can deal with form 4's studies....
I hope I can do it...and this weekend......
I must finish all my delayed homework!!!!!!!!
I PROMISE!!!!I will done my homework in this weekend....

ok......this is a LONGEST post in ENGLISH I had ever write....
haha.....finally I wrote a long post in my blog....IN ENGLISH!!!!!

I HOPE I CAN HANDLE FORM 4 STUDY AND IMPROVE MY ENGLISH!!!!!

gambateh!!!!!!

我......

現在的我....是什麽心情呢??
心....很亂.....
我很辛苦啊~~
爲什麽我的命運會這樣??
我失去了我最親的人...
我有很大的壓力...有很多事等著我去解決...
我有種快要窒息的感覺...
我不是一個能承受很大壓力的人...
爲什麽呢??
應為我不會疏解壓力...
不擅長表達自己...每次隱藏自己的情緒...
這就是我...
我不希望我的存在會連累到任何人...
我不希望得到別人的同情...
我不希望別人用不一樣的眼光來看我...
我很在意別人的眼光...
我......
有時候我自己也不知道自己要什麽...
呵呵...是不是很可笑??
自己都不能幫到自己...還想要幫人....

我一直都是...那麽悲觀...
是天生的嗎??
是不是都好...
這是無法改變的事實....

又是一事感觸...
沒事的....
功課太多了!!
做功課去~~

忙....累....

我终于有时间写部落格了...
着整个星期...我都很忙...
功课...补习....小册子...
我终于把小册子做完了...
总算松一口气了...
我知道还有很多工作陆续有来....
不过先解决眼前的工作是最重要的...

最近不知道为什么，
脾气变得有点暴躁了...
可能是很忙的关系吧...
学校很多事情要烦...
换了校长真的不是件好事....
校规都变得一塌糊涂...
很多很离谱的校规出现...
那个校长应该该是钱太多吧...
该修理的地方不修理....
把钱花在不应该该花的地方...
算了...
这些都轮不到我管的....

我又当班长了...
上了高中...
和初中有很大的分别...
我当了一年的班长...
已经很累了...
为什么还要选我呢??
是真正想我当班长..
还是把我当成挡箭牌??
当班长不是一件容易的事..
我每天...都迟进班...
我去找老师...哪知道回到班..
老师已经在上课了...
现在刚开学..
班上有很多东西要烦...
keceriaan 啦~~
今年又多了一个...
buku rekod keluar masuk...
每个学生出去都要记录...
真麻烦...
我自己已经很忙了...
还要帮老师做这个...做那个...
现在是在考验我的体力吗??
每天上下四层楼不是一件容易的事...
haiz...........
我真的很累了...
去年累了一整年...
今年继续...
就不能让我休息吗??
不过这也是一种考验...
可能现在是个过渡期...
过了就会比较轻松了....

但愿如此....

为什么学校老师教书那么让人不明白??
很多东西都带过罢了...
根本没有仔细地说清楚...
这个是一个老师应该有的教书方式吗??
我不知道...
我只知道....老师说什么...我听得一头雾水...
没有教就叫我们做练习...
我们怎么会做呢??
虽然我们多有补习..
不过学校老师也有责任去教好学生..

不过这个年头....
我们只好靠补习了...

刚开学就这么累了...
到年尾不久累卦了??

2009年的第一天...

这么快...2009年了...

不知道为什么..

总觉得2009年有很多事等着我去做...

我会很忙...会有很多负担...会有很多责任...

不过现在想这些未免太早了吧~~

毕竟今天只是新一年的第一天...

在这个假期里...我做了很多事情..

还过得蛮充实的...

假期很少跟朋友联络..

总觉得关系不像以前那样好了...

我认识了很多新朋友..

不过我的性格还是没变..

依旧那么冷...

我几时才可以开朗一点呢??

谁可以让我改变我的性格??

应该是没有吧~~

我有老一岁了...

哈哈...

虽然离我的生日还很远..

不过思想也该成熟点了...

不该在像小孩子那样..

这么依赖别人..

要独立了...

再过几年就要出国读书了...（想得太远了~~）

还是学会自己照顾自己比较好...

妈妈现在不在了..

现在什么事情都得靠爸爸..

还有靠自己..

不能每天都上网..

应该读多一点书..

增加多一点知识..

我看到别人写的稿那么好..

自己自叹不如..

所以我决定了..

要多读别人的稿..

多读书..

才可以写出好的稿....

要相信自己的能力..

最近发现自己的思想变了..

每次都会想很多..自己都不知道为什么...

是什么都好...

现在最重要就是做好自己...

2009年一定会比2008年好!!!!!